after breakfast

 now sitting in my room,  i feel tired

however i feel motivated and energised to a degree

i think i am very much motivated by an audience

19.47 the art therapy class was funny, i am quite well but i had to make myself be unwell in a way

i want to feel like i am capable of making decisions independent of my mum i want to be confident in my choices i want to be supported in my choices

20.43 i am bored and slightly unsure of what to do

22.07 what do i really want? what do i wish to improve? I think i want to be happier and more emotionally safe and stable, I want to be stronger so that normal life stresses are seen in a nonchalant manner

next day

i love this song, going to record myself

evening

todays been a busy day, so many thoughts, so many plans...

watched one episode of a drama 

towards the end it started buffering

i believe i think highly of myself because i am actually not confident, i do not have a lot of skills, i want to feel strong 

the past month i have also thought i am better, looked down

now in hospital it is funny but i don't think i a superior anymore

i can feel i dislike some people without getting to know them, and it is often a case of them not smiling